10 characters; 5M, 5F; 7 pages in length. Approximately 5-10 minutes running time. A zombie comedy for teens written by Clyde James Aragon.
Boy Zombie is a hilarious comedy about an average family who just happens to be dealing with a case of Zombieism. As a mother prepares breakfast in the other room, her teenagers, Mindy and Danny, are busy quarreling. Typical siblings, right? Right – except for the fact that Danny has been bitten, infected and is now a zombie. Much to his dismay, it’s up to Mindy (and her trusty taser) to keep him in line. Will she ever truly understand how difficult life is for Danny, being dead? This short comedy for teens brings a bit of humanity to those with different dietary needs!
Clyde James Aragon is from Albuquerque, New Mexico. Much of his published work has been prose humor and he has published the following books “Tales of Delight and Shame”, humorous stories; “The PC Affair – a comic mystery of murder, mayhem, and data processing”, humorous detective novel; and “Abandon All Hope! – cheerful humor for impossible days”, humorous stories. Of his many plays “The Translated Works of Stephen Watts Kearny And His Army Of The West” premiered at the Fourth Annual Hispanic Playwrights Festival hosted by Fort Worth Theatre, Inc. His prose humor has appeared in national magazines and many southwestern newspapers and magazines. He has also produced greeting card material and composed crossword puzzles. His filmography (all shorts) “Doctor Time Travel To The Rescue”, “The Accidental Canine – the story of Sheila, the dog who influenced art”, “The Gods of Beer”, “Frankenstein of the Americas”, and “The Zombie National Guard – America’s final defense against supernatural chaos”, and “Crime and Philosophy”.
Excerpt from the play:
CAST OF CHARACTERS
MOM — Mother, heard offstage until end
MINDY — Danny’s older sister
DANNY — Mindy’s younger brother
ZOMBIES — 7 or more (4 males, 3 females minimum) for Zombie Track Team, Zombie cheerleaders, and Zombie boyfriend and girlfriend
Living Room Set
sofa, easy chairs, lamp, end table; Taser-looking device that (if possible) makes a zapping noise of some sort.
(We are in a living room. MOM is offstage, cooking breakfast
while MINDY is reading a book on the sofa. They are a little back on
the stage as Zombies will later be walking past the front of the stage.
DANNY enters as a sleepy Zombie)
Mom, Danny’s turned into a Zombie again.
Get out the taser. You know what to do. I’m making breakfast.
MINDY (to audience)
This is the Teenage American Dream. Being able to taser your kid brother at will and getting praised for it. Can things get any better than this? (she tasers DANNY on shoulder as he shakes all over)
DANNY (rubbing shoulder and no longer a Zombie)
Oww. What happened?
You turned into a Zombie again.
Not again. I knew I shouldn’t have had Sugar Crisps for supper. But they’re so-o-o sweet.
Well, now that you’re normal again, here’s this. (she tasers him again)
Oww! What was that for?
That was a pre-emptive zap. I don’t want you to turn into a Zombie during breakfast. The last time you did, you ate all the forks.
Zombies need iron. That’s why we bite people. For the iron in their blood. Mmmm, blood. It’s like red Coca-Cola.
Take a Flintstone and you’ll be all right.
There’s not enough iron in them. When you’re a Zombie, you’ll know what I mean. (tries to bite MINDY)
MINDY (swatting at him)
Mom, Danny’s trying to bite me again.
Danny, don’t bite your sister. Breakfast’s almost ready. You can eat then. And where is your father?
I think the Zombies got him when he went out for the paper. I heard a scream.
I hope he isn’t injured too badly.
Maybe he beat them off and went for help.
That’s like your father. Always looking out for us. Taser him anyway when he comes in, just in case.
Okay. (then to audience) The Teenage American Dream, I tell you. I’m going crazy with all the power I have.
You’re crazy because you’re a girl, that’s why.
And you’re a little nerd of a brother who turns into a Zombie whenever I switch on the vacuum cleaner. What does that say about you?
That I hate loud sucky things. Like you.
(male Zombies start marching past stage in front of them)
Look out the window. There they go.
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