5 characters; 2M; 3Either; 6 pages in length. Approximately 5-10 minutes running time. A comedy based on the classic nursery rhyme written by Andy Pavey.

Humpty Dumpty is a hilarious twist on the favorite nursery rhyme. What’s a narrator to do when the main character in the story won’t fall off the wall? Call in the King and all his two horses to order him to do so! When Humpty still refuses to fall, he’ll eventually crack under the pressure. This “egg-cellent”, short play will entertain all audiences!

Andy Pavey is a commissioned playwright, who writes short plays for Drama Notebook. He is a student who attends UWC-USA. He previously spent nine years with Davenport Junior Theatre, the second-oldest children’s theatre in the United States, where he acted in productions, managed the props building, and wrote plays for young actors to perform. In addition to writing, Andy is an avid backpacker!

Excerpt from the play:

CAST OF CHARACTERS

Humpty Dumpty
Narrator
King
Horse 1
Horse 2

A wall with Humpty Dumpty sitting atop is center.

Narrator
Once upon a time there was an egghead who sat on a wall.

Humpty
Who are you calling egghead?

Narrator
You crack me up, Humpty.

Humpty
Very funny.

Narrator
One day Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall…

Humpty
No way that’s happening.

Narrator
And Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.(silence) Hello? You can fall now.

Humpty
I’m not gonna risk my yolk for some narrator. No thanks.

Narrator
(picks up a phone) Hello? King? Yeah, I need all your horses and all your men here, stat. I have a giant talking egg that refuses to fall from a wall like the fairytale says he’s supposed to.  (pause) Yes. Uh, we might be able to find some bacon but that’s the wrong fairytale. You’re thinking of the three little pigs. I’m more worried about the egg. (to Humpty) You’re in big trouble now, you… you… food item!

Humpty
So you had to call the King to do your dirty work for you, eh, pal?

(Humpty is still on the wall. Only the King has arrived, however. He carries a skillet)

Narrator
Wow, you got here quickly.

King
You told me there was free food.

Narrator
Where are your men and your horses?

King
Allergic to eggs. All of them. It’s quite sad, really.

Narrator
Maybe you could apply a cream or a lotion for that.

King
Royalty doesn’t apply lotion to anyone.

Narrator
I see. So, what do we do now?

King
Follow my lead. (Points the skillet at Humpty) Prepare to be vanquished by the power of homemade breakfast!  (King performs a few kung-fu moves and swings the skillet into the air, trying to reach Humpty)

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