Project Humans

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5 characters, any gender. Approximately 5 minutes running time. Alien abduction comedy!

A group of aliens have abducted two human teenagers as part of a research project. But the humans turn out to be more complex than the aliens had thought! Students will have fun coming up with alien costumes and characters for this fun play!

The script includes discussion questions and director’s notes on casting and set design.

Debra A. Cole is a celebrated humanities teacher, youth theatre director, and children’s playwright with degrees in journalism, art history, and elementary education. She understands the needs of young performers and their directors and creates pieces that encourage engaging discussion, creative thought, and quirky playfulness. Her goal is that young performers discover the power and delight that theatre brings to actors and audiences alike.

Visit her website:
www.debraacole-playwright.com

Excerpt from the play:

CHARACTERS

ZAG — (M/F) in charge – very organized and professional
MOP — (M/F) data driven – very worried about research results being correct
BOT— (M/F) all muscle – very excited about using laser cannon
HUDSON— (M/F) cautious – but lovable
JESS — (M/F) curious – confident

(The action takes place modern day in a research lab on the planet Zorg.)

(Lights come up on an alien lab complete with beakers, jars of mysterious objects, and flashing lights. Two aliens, Zag and Mop, are pacing in front of two empty chairs.)

ZAG
The last phase of our research will be complete today! Our leaders will be pleased.

MOP
Finally! After much study, I am sure that I now understand humans. Our great planet of Zorg will finally be able to share its knowledge with the rest of the galaxy, for the humans have always been a true mystery to us.

ZAG
Agreed. How long until the new specimens arrive?

MOP
They just landed in the gravity chamber with Agent Bot.

ZAG
Excellent. This final step is necessary to finalize our research.

(An electronic noise is heard just off stage left.)

Just in time! Let us see what type of specimens Agent Bot has brought us.

(From stage left enters Bot pushing Hudson and Jess into the room – both humans are looking around shocked and confused.)

BOT
Move it, humans. (pushes humans into chairs)

Agent Zag! (salutes in interesting way)

Agent Mop! (salutes in interesting way)

(Both salute back at Bot)
ZAG
Good work, Agent Bot! These human specimens look healthy, and as humans say… they look very “normal.”

BOT
These two were quite a problem. They did not agree to come to Zorg willingly – while a usual reaction from humans, these two were exceptionally stubborn. I had to knock them out with my laser cannon. They have JUST come to.

HUDSON
English? Tell me you are hearing these aliens speak English, Jess. I am worried that I am dreaming.

JESS
Oh, no, you’re not dreaming. I hear them. I have read about aliens for years, and I am quite sure they could simulate any language with their heightened intellect. But who knows, surely there are some aliens not that bright.

BOT
(at the ready and approaching humans with laser cannon) Want me to knock them out again, Agents?

MOP
Easy, Agent Bot. We must be kind to our guests. (to the humans) Yes, we speak English, humans. We have been studying your species for years, and language has been just one aspect of our data. You might call us human experts. And no, we are not the…not so bright ones.

ZAG
Perhaps introductions are in order. (straightens up and becomes more formal) Welcome, humans. You are now guests on the planet of Zorg. Here, you will help us finalize our human research. As “average” humans, you will confirm that our findings are correct. My name is Zag, and these are my co-scientists, Mop and Bot.

(Mop clears throat – nodding head toward Bot.)

Oh… excuse me. Mop and I are scientists. Bot is… what you would call on your planet… our muscle.
(Bot flexes.)
HUDSON
I’m Hudson, and this is my friend, Jess.

JESS
Yeah, and I’m trying to not be offended by being kidnapped by aliens… or called “normal” and “average.” I don’t like the way this whole situation is going down.

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