10 characters; Flexible cast; 6 pages in length. Approximately 5-10 minutes running time. A comedy based on the classic fairy tale written by Andy Pavey.

The Musicians of Bremen is a twisted version of the fairy tale that tells the story of four aging farm animals that decide to run away to Bremen to find fortune and fame as rock stars.

Along their journey, they come upon a house where robbers and a wannabe pirate are holed up with fresh loot. The animals must come up with a plan to get rid of the robbers and capture the spoils! A very funny play for all ages!

Andy Pavey is a commissioned playwright, who writes short plays for Drama Notebook. He is a student who attends UWC-USA. He previously spent nine years with Davenport Junior Theatre, the second-oldest children’s theatre in the United States, where he acted in productions, managed the props building, and wrote plays for young actors to perform. In addition to writing, Andy is an avid backpacker!

Excerpt from the play:

CAST OF CHARACTERS

Narrator 1
Narrator 2
Farmer
Donkey
Dog
Cat
Rooster
Robber 1
Robber 2
Robber 3

NARRATOR 1
Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there lived a farmer.

FARMER
I like dirt.

NARRATOR 2
The farmer owned a weak, old donkey who had worked hard for many years.

DONKEY (clutching their back, pained)
Ow! My back!

NARRATOR 2
The farmer was grateful to the donkey, but not that grateful.

FARMER
Donkey, I appreciate your years of work.

DONKEY
Gee, it’s nothing. Thanks for all the grass.

FARMER
But I’m afraid I’m going to have to let you go.

DONKEY (devastated)
I don’t understand.

FARMER
Well, I do! I’m going to the Bahamas! Enjoy your retirement, my old friend.

The FARMER takes off his plaid flannel shirt to reveal a Hawaiian one, then races offstage with a few suitcases in hand.

NARRATOR 2
The donkey was all alone.

DONKEY
I’m all alone. I’ve never been all alone before.

NARRATOR 1
Just then, a dog playing the triangle walked onstage.

DOG
I’ve just come to a terrifying realization: there are only so many songs you can play on a triangle.

The DOG looks out at the audience with an empty look on their face.

DONKEY
Hi! I’m retired! I can play the cymbals!

DOG
Wow. Last year Elvis wanted me on his farewell tour. Now an old, retired, cymbal-playing donkey wants to start a band with me?!

The DOG looks out at the audience again.

DOG (defeated)
Sure. Why not.

The DONKEY reaches behind a set piece to reveal a set of conveniently-stashed cymbals. The DONKEY holds them high, faces the audience, and begins mashing them together, creating a terrible noise.

DONKEY
I feel so ALIVE right now! This is my PASSION!

DOG
Stop! Please! Stop that! What is your problem!?

DONKEY
It’s just – it’s just that my owner left for the Bahamas and he didn’t even take me…

DOG
Wow, that’s so sad…

DONKEY
I know… Unrelated question, what are Bahamas exactly?

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