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8 characters, flexible casting. Approximately 10 minutes running time. Modern fairy tale play about a greedy cat who wants to be the only guest at the royal ball.

Party guests are all traveling to the royal ball. One by one, they run across a cat with an enormous appetite! The cat wants to be the center of attention, so he EATS the jester, two milkmaids and a lumberjack. But they get revenge on the cat and make a surprise appearance at the ball anyway!

This absurd, short play by Debra A. Cole will delight students and audience members alike! The script includes discussion questions and director’s notes on casting and staging.

Debra A. Cole is a celebrated humanities teacher, youth theatre director, and children’s playwright with degrees in journalism, art history, and elementary education. She understands the needs of young performers and their directors and creates pieces that encourage engaging discussion, creative thought, and quirky playfulness. Her goal is that young performers discover the power and delight that theatre brings to actors and audiences alike.

Visit her website:

Excerpt from the play:


CAT — (M/F) greedy and selfish
JESTER — (M/F) funny, smart, and creative
LUNA — (F) Swedish milkmaid, twin of Stella, kind and sweet
STELLA — (F) Swedish milkmaid, twin of Luna, kind and sweet
LUMBERJACK/JILL — (M/F) strong and confident
KING — (M) wise and just
QUEEN — (F) wise and just
PRINCESS — (F) spoiled, loud, and aggressive

(The action takes place fairy tale times in the woods, inside a stomach, and at a castle.)

(Lights come up on a wooded road complete with trees and big rocks. Cat, wearing traveling clothing enters stage left as JESTER, in complete jester’s clothing and carrying a knapsack, enters stage right. Both look surprised to see one another.)


Aha! A fellow traveler! You must be heading to the castle!

(irritated) Of course I’m traveling to the castle. Word of the Royal Ball has spread throughout the countryside. This ball is the way for ME to be the royal cat at the castle. One look at me, and the royal family will NEED me as their pet.

Aha, not just a fellow traveler, but royal competition.

Competition? Sorry, but you are not a cat.

Cat, no, but I am… (bows) a jester in need of a royal family. (grabs knapsack) Interested in a snack? I don’t know about you, but I am famished from travel.

(suspiciously) Sure…

Let’s see… (pulling out food) I have waffles, peanut butter, and (digs deeper) gummy bears.

(takes a handful of the food and starts eating) Delicious. Jester, huh? So, you tell jokes?

Not just jokes. I also do tricks, create funny dances, and juggle!

(takes bigger handfuls and eats more) So, you want a job at the castle too? You’re also going to the Royal Ball to be noticed?

First of all, easy on the food, friend. There is plenty for both of us. Secondly… yeah. I figured if I could just be seen by the royal family, they were realized they NEED me.

(takes bigger handfuls and eats more) Well, this won’t do at all.

It won’t?

Nope. There can only be ONE person at the Royal Ball that is noticed, and that is me.

(nervously) Okay…you have me, little friend. How exactly are you going to be the ONLY one at the Royal Ball?

You see that I have a big appetite, do I not?

(looking around at all the food gone) One of the biggest I have ever seen.

Well, I now will eat you.

Eat me? Uh… not possible.

(calmly) Very possible.

Listen, I’m all for joking around, but you won’t eat me.

And THERE is where you are wrong, new friend. NO ONE is going to take my job at the castle. So, YOU cannot come to the Royal Ball.

(Cat moves toward Jester in sinister manner.)

(Jester looks terrified.)

(lights out)

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