7 characters; 1M, 1F; 5 Either; 5 pages in length. Approximately 5 minutes running time. A comedy for children based on the nursery rhyme written by Andy Pavey.

In Three Blind Mice, hilarity ensues when an ordinary day on the farm is disrupted by three very blind rodents. The mice are thrilled when they find food to eat but just when they think they’ll be able to relax, they’re spotted by the wife and her two cats. The cats are wildly entertained as they watch the farmer’s wife chase them around the house with her carving knife. This rib-tickling story for young performers includes a bit of political correctness, adventure, and even a mouse tail or two!

Andy Pavey is a commissioned playwright, who writes short plays for Drama Notebook. He is a student who attends UWC-USA. He previously spent nine years with Davenport Junior Theatre, the second-oldest children’s theatre in the United States, where he acted in productions, managed the props building, and wrote plays for young actors to perform. In addition to writing, Andy is an avid backpacker!

Excerpt from the play:

CAST OF CHARACTERS

Harold (Farmer)
Farmer’s Wife
Cat #1
Cat #2
Mouse #1
Mouse #2
Mouse #3

At rise: The FARMER’S WIFE is washing clothes. Two CATS are sitting near the FARMER’S WIFE as she works.

HAROLD
I’ll see you later, dearest. I have to go wrastle some wild horses and then plow the back forty acres. Before breakfast.

FARMER’S WIFE
Okay. I’ll just be here. Doing the same old chores. You know, laundry.

HAROLD
That sounds great. Have fun! And don’t forget to make breakfast. That will be fun, too.

HAROLD exits.

FARMER’S WIFE
Laundry…every time I finish the washing, it seems like a brand-new basket of it appears at my feet… What an exciting life I lead.

CAT #1
Yeah, that’s because you wear clothes. And they get dirty. Hence, the washing.

FARMER’S WIFE (to the CATS)
Oh, aren’t you the sweetest little darlings? Yes, you are! Yes, you are!

CAT #2 (to CAT #1)
Now look what you’ve done.

FARMER’S WIFE (petting CAT #2)
Who’s a good kitty? Who’s a good kitty?

CAT #2
Ugh. Gimme a break…

Three blind MICE, wearing sunglasses and bumping into each other, enter and wander nearby, constantly moving and sniffing. The MICE are very clumsy in general.

MOUSE #1 (sniffing)
The coast is clear.

MOUSE #3
This house smells like old people. And soap.

MOUSE #2 collides with MOUSE #1.

MOUSE #2
Oof. I’m tired. I want to take a nap.

MOUSE #3
Wait. Humans live in this house, right?

MOUSE #1
Yes. It’s a house.

MOUSE #3
And humans need to eat, right?

MOUSE #1
Yes. They’re humans.

MOUSE #3
Then there’s got to be food in this house!

MOUSE #1 and MOUSE #3 try to high five, but they miss entirely. They proudly smile.

MOUSE #2
All right. Here’s the plan.

MOUSE #1
What’s the plan?

MOUSE #2 sighs and perhaps facepalms. As the next line is said, MOUSE #2 points in random directions, which doesn’t work because the mice are blind.

MOUSE #2
You go over there. You go over there. I go over there.

MOUSE #3
Wait. Where do I go?

MOUSE #2 points again.

MOUSE #3
Oh. Makes sense.

The MICE stumble offstage in random directions completely different than where MOUSE #2 pointed.

CAT #1
Are we gonna tell her that there are mice in the mouse?

CAT #2
Nah. She’ll figure it out. Probably.

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