8 parts, 9 pages. Short script for use in a directing class. Best suited for ages 10-13.

This piece was contributed by guest author, Mariah Beachboard for use in a directing class. The challenge of a class on directing is that the showcase must highlight the concepts learned within a small amount of time. One option is to have each student direct a short piece. Or use a script like this one. It highlights “bad” directors with terrible qualities, and “good” directors who motivate and lead. It also reveals how actors are responsible for their behavior toward the director as well.

In this short play, a group of actors audition several directors for their upcoming play. Each director is worse than the one before. Ultimately, the actors decide to direct themselves!

Excerpt from the play:
CAST OF CHARACTERS

THE DIRECTORS:
MRS. SCHLOTTENMEYERHAUSER
MS. ADKINSON
MS. TIMID
MS. LIBBY

THE ACTORS:
CHARLIE
SARAH
SIMONE
EUNICE

SETTING: A theatre. 

MRS SCHLOTTENMEYERHAUSER

Excuuuuuuse me. My name is Mrs. Schlottenmeyerhauser. I’m here to direct your play, The Lion King.

CHARLIE

Actually, we’ve decided to do Transformers, the Musical.

SARAH

No, we’re not, Charlie. We already discussed this.

EUNICE

(to MRS. SCHLOTTENMEYERHAUSER)

Actually, these are the director auditions.

SIMONE

Yeah, we have to decide if we want you to direct our play. So, have you ever directed before?

MRS. SCHLOTTENMEYERHAUSER

As a matter of fact, I have. The most splendid version of Three Blind Mice ever produced in the history of production. You should have seen it. The staging was magnificent, the blocking was ingenious, and the movement divine!

SARAH

(to CHARLIE)

Aren’t those all the same thing?

CHARLIE

Tell me, can you turn into a helicopter?

MRS SCHLOTTENMEYERHAUSER

What?

CHARLIE

A helicopter. Can you turn into a helicopter? Or do you prefer a semi-truck?

MRS SCHLOTTENMEYERHAUSER

I’m not sure what that has to do-

SARAH

Cut it out Charlie. Tell us, ma’am, how would you direct the final fight scene from The Lion King?

MRS SCHLOTTENMEYERHAUSER

Well, if it were my production, the staging would be magnificent, the blocking was ingenious, and the movement divine!

SIMONE

We get it. But WHY would it be “divine”?

MRS SCHLOTTENMEYERHAUSER

Because I would have directed it!

EUNICE

(to SIMONE) Let me try. (to MRS SCHLOTTENMEYERHAUSER) Okay, what would you do to make it divine?

MRS SCHLOTTENMEYERHAUSER

I would stage it magnificently.

SARAH

Okay, thank you. We’ve heard enough. We’ll call you.

CHARLIE

Next!

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