Geointerfering Inc.

Solving the looming environmental crisis becomes absurdly funny in this short play. Laughter and rancor build as the CEO arrives for a meeting not knowing the purpose or the topic of the gathering, even though he’s the one who called it. He knows he’s the leader and decision-maker but not much more. He can't see the problems his actions have caused, and he can't care. The play is quick, witty, and smart. A perfect choice for high school competitions or scene study.

Playwright Bio:

Leonard Goodisman writes primarily for theater. Besides creating plays, he’s produced and engaged in all aspects of theater. His work entertains but also stimulates and inspires one’s sociological, psychological, and political consciences, and through these one’s spirituality. He's had many full-length and short plays produced.

Excerpt from the play:

CHARACTERS:

CEO- Corporate Executive Officer of a company. 50’s.

Three young upcoming executives: flexible casting
LES- Under deputy executive for agriculture and public affairs, Presenter.
WES- Under deputy executive for finance and banking, Worrier.
JESS- Under deputy executive for energy and manufacturing, Explainer.

At Rise:
The CEO arrives for the meeting not knowing the purpose or the topic of the meeting. He knows he’s the leader. Laughter and rancor build. LES, WES, and JESS strut around the meeting table.

CEO
(Enters with an attaché case; spreads papers on the table.)
Let’s get this show on the road. Lunch in 10. (Checks watch) 9 minutes and 30 seconds; my jet’s taking off. Get me up to speed, right now, astrospeed, connect the dots. I forgot the agenda; no chance to read it anyway. What are these papers here? Why are we here? (Stares at them) You look familiar. Have we met? Sit.

LES
(All sit but bounce up when appropriate.)
Morning Sir, Sir CEO. (everyone whispers, “CEO of what?”) Chief, we met last year after that international scientist's group told us what we had to do to keep the earth from dying.

CEO
Who are they to tell us what we have to do?

LES
We paid them to tell us.

CEO
I don’t listen to people I pay. I pay them to listen to me.

LES
We all agreed there was no problem with our solution, but the international group was calling attention to problems, so this task force was convened today to solve the problems.

CEO
What problems? What solutions? A solution with problems is not a solution. If it’s a solution, there are no problems. You follow? (They shake their heads “no”) Okay, what’s this international group saying now? Why can’t they limit these groups to Americans? Americans understand the dollar so it’s easier to tell them what to say.

WES
Last year, they said: cap gas emissions and take no more fossil fuels out of the earth, make less garbage, less plastic.

CEO
Weren’t “our” scientists there? We pay them plenty. How’d they let that happen?

LES
We only have two scientists on our side, hundreds on the other.

WES
And they said our scientists are not real scientists.

CEO
But that’s exactly what we pay them to do, pretend to be and sound like real scientists. Increase their pay. No, decrease it.

WES
The international group gave us a mandate: use less fuel; etc.

CEO
What mandate? Not happening. International group! Scientists! Think of the fund flows in those sectors! Who follows those?

WES
My area, Chief, I watch fund flows. What’s a fund flow? Worldwide profits would drop 38.4% de-annualized; we’d have to regroup offshore investments with tremendous unfavorable tax consequences; and…

CEO
Okay. That was a little longer answer than we need. It’s a no-brainer. For people who have no brains, that’s a joke. Laugh.

LES, WES, JESS (Together)
(They laugh.)