All is Fair in Show Business

All is Fair in Show Business is a one-act comedy that focuses on a fun-loving teenager who is elated when she lands her first acting job – a juicy role as a TV commercial spokeswoman for a popular, fast-food restaurant. All goes awry though when the director decides to recast the part with her adversary. Demoted to an extra in the commercial, the teenager must struggle to be recognized by the director as the best spokeswoman for the job. This delightful, fast-paced comedy is loads of fun and can easily be adapted to any theater setting!

Barry M. Putt, Jr.’s plays have been performed throughout the U.S. and in Canada including productions with the Samuel French Off-Off Broadway Short Play Festival, The Northeast Theatre, and Turtle Shell Productions. His comedy, A DIFFERENT BLEND OF FRIENDSHIP won the NJ Wordsmiths Award. Mr. Putt is a member of the Witherspoon Circle, American Renaissance Theater Company, and the Dramatists Guild. Find out more by visiting his website at www.barrymputtjr.com.

Excerpt from the play:

CAST OF CHARACTERS

DOROTHY – teenager, hip wisecracker, stands up for what is fair and just, has poor eyesight.
SYLVIA – teenager, feels most people are below her, will do anything for a buck.
ABIGAIL – teenager, excited about life, believes in living each day to the fullest and always striving for more.
PAMELA-SUE – teenager, southern belle, with a thick accent and a straightforward attitude.
DIRECTOR – any age, any gender, demanding, high-strung.
TECHNICIAN – any age, any gender, carefree, new to the entertainment business.

SETTING/PLACE:

SCENE 1: A high school cafeteria. Present Day, U.S.A.
SCENE 2: TV commercial set, made to look like the fast-food restaurant Hildy’s House of Hamburgers.

SCENE 1
Lights UP in a high school cafeteria. DOROTHY, in jazzy glasses, eats lunch at a table while listening to a stereo headset. SYLVIA sits next to her thumbing through a magazine.

Dorothy starts bopping around vigorously in her chair to the music that plays on her headset. Sylvia flashes a disapproving glance.

ABIGAIL runs in.

ABIGAIL
Woo-hoo!
Dorothy takes off her headset, as she and Sylvia look over at ABIGAIL in surprise.

SYLVIA
Whoa! What’s wrong with you? Do you have fire ants in your pants?

ABIGAIL
Naw, after two semesters of studying acting in Miss Decker’s drama class, it finally happened.

SYLVIA
You got kicked out?

ABIGAIL
Naw. Girls, yer looking at the newest TV star. I’m gonna be spokesperson in a “Hildy’s House of Hamburgers” commercial.

DOROTHY
Congratulations! That’s great! When are you shooting?

ABIGAIL
In two days.

DOROTHY
This is the best news I’ve heard since Sylvia got sacked from Home Ec for being too stuck up.

SYLVIA
That’s not true. I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s only a commercial, not an academy award. If they asked me to do some trivial thing like that, I’d tell them where to get off.

ABIGAIL
They can let me off at the bank, right after the shoot ’cause I’m set to make a bundle.

SYLVIA
You probably won’t see a penny.

ABIGAIL
(to Sylvia)
You sure you’d never wanna be in a commercial?

SYLVIA
Of course not. I have no time for that foolishness.

ABIGAIL
Good, ’cause they asked me to find two girls to pose as customers in the background. This makes my decision a lot easier. (to Dorothy) Dorothy, would you be interested?

DOROTHY
Certainly! How exciting.

SYLVIA
Eeh, it’s not such a big deal. They make so many of those things. Most of them probably never even air.

ABIGAIL
It’s already scheduled to run in twenty-three cities.

SYLVIA
Ones no one ever heard of I bet.

ABIGAIL
Naw, big ones, even the state capital. (to Dorothy) We’re gonna be seen everywhere!

SYLVIA
So what? (annoyed)

ABIGAIL
Is something wrong?

SYLVIA
No.

DOROTHY
think she might be jealous.

SYLVIA
Nonsense. I have more important things do to, like getting my hair done.

ABIGAIL
I thought you just did that.

SYLVIA
Girls from my area of town get their hair done all the time. Don’t you know anything?

ABIGAIL
I know enough not to go where you do. Last time they made your hair look like a pyramid.

SYLVIA
It’s the Egyptian look. The latest thing.

DOROTHY
You mean the loudest.