King Arthur and the (Almost) Round Table

Step into a world of magic, knights, and adventure with this playful parody of King Arthur. When a mysterious sword appears stuck in a stone, no one can pull it free-until a young boy named Arthur does the impossible. Arthur teams up with the Wizard Merlin and a quirky group of knights for adventure and mayhem. Filled with quick wit and pure silliness, this timeless tale invites children to discover the legend of King Arthur and the (Almost) Round Table.

About the playwright:

Malcolm Henty is retired and living in East Devon in the United Kingdom. His theatre experience comes from writing and directing plays and pantomimes for the local children’s theatre group of which he is chairman. He also has the great fortune of working alongside his granddaughter Beth who is a primary school teacher. In addition to staging productions, the group also runs a successful Drama Club for which he has written various plays. His plays Happiness Stan and A Man for All Seasons can both be found on Drama Notebook.

Excerpt from the play:

CHARACTERS:

1: Narrator 1
2: Narrator 2
3: Narrator 3
4: King Uther, Ruler of the Kingdom
5: Athur Pendragon, The King’s Son
6: Merlin, The Mystical Magician (Can be any gender)
7: Old Crone in the Woods
8: Academic, The Owl (Reads from book of knowledge)
9: The Seagull, The Messenger
10: Local at Stonehenge
11: Local at Stonehenge
12: Local at Stonehenge
13: Lady of the Lake
14: Estate Agent
15: Guinevere
16: Mrs. Knight, Guinevere’s mother
17: Sir Laugh a Lot
18: Sir Circumference
19: Sir Cull
20: Sir Pent
21: Sir Veilliance
22: Sir Charge a Lot
23: Sir Real
24: Sir Tificate
25: Sir Vival
26: Sir Prise
27: Sir Loin of Beef
28: Sir Render

Narrator:
The myths and legends surrounding King Arthur are many and varied. His story is filled with twists and turns from the very start. Many towns have claimed to be his birthplace, and many have claimed to be the home of the legendary Camelot where Arthur lived with his bride Guinevere. Noble scholars heralding from places as far and wide as Wales, Lindisfarne, Scotland and of course Cornwall, all claim to hold the secrets to Arthur’s life.

Narrator:
All that I know, is that standing in front of the castle on that windswept Cornish cliff top, with waves pounding into Merlin’s cave far below, something stirred and inspired me to seek out the truth and finally solve the mystery surrounding King Arthur and The Knights of the Round Table. Well, I say round, it was in fact more of an oval shape, putting Vikea furniture together was not easy, even in those days.

Narrator:
Hundreds of years ago Britain was ruled by a King Uther. He was powerful and noble. But these were troubled times with invasions by the Saxons and constant battles with fellow Britains, many of whom were now revolting.

Narrator:
What do you mean that they were revolting? Did they smell? Didn’t they wash or something?

Narrator:
Of course they washed; I mean they were revolting not revolting.

Narrator:
Sorry, but you’ve got me there.

Narrator:
Oh, come on, how hard can it be? They were revolting; angry, upset, up in arms.

Narrator:
Oh right. Why didn’t you just say so?

Narrator:
I thought I did. Never mind, anyway King Uther had a young son who nobody knew about, and he feared for the young boy’s safety.

Narrator:
Go on………..

(Narrators step back as scene unfolds. The setting is a woodland deep in the English countryside. Enter King Uther and the boy Arthur.)

Arthur:
Why have you brought me here father?

King Uther:
Because I fear for your life.

Arthur:
I know.

King Uther:
How do you know?

Arthur:
Because the Narrators just told us. I mean why have you brought me to this wood?

King Uther:
Because you are in danger and there is someone I want you to meet.

Arthur:
Who?

King Uther:
His name is Merlin.

Arthur:
Not Mad Merlin the Magician?

King Uther:
Yes. How do you know him?

Arthur:
He does all the local kids’ parties with his tricks and stories. But why do I need to meet Merlin? It’s not my birthday is it? And isn’t he a bit weird?

King Uther:
That’s true, but he is also very wise and skilled in the ways of magic and combat and the ways of the world. He will look after you and bring you up in safety.

Arthur:
Where does this Merlin live?

King Uther:
In a cave.

Arthur:
A cave?

King Uher:
Yes a cave. Now I must depart. Merlin will be here soon, and you will be safe. Farewell my son. (He departs.)

(Arthur is wandering, lost in the wood – enter Old Crone with basket of apples.)

Arthur:
Hello? Who is there? Is that you Merlin?

Old Crone:
No. Do I look like Merlin?

Arthur:
I don’t know. I’ve only ever seen Merlin at parties, and he was dressed up as Magical Marvin.

Old Crone:
Well, I am not Merlin or Magical Marvin. I am the Lady of the Woods, and this is my domain. No one enters these woods without my say so.

Arthur:
Well, I can. My father is King Uther, and I am Prince Arthur, his only son.

Old Crone:
I didn’t know the King had a son.

Narrator:
This was to be young Arthur’s first big mistake.

Arthur:
Exactly. That’s why I am here, so I can be protected from all the revolting people.

Old Crone:
I know, they are so uncouth. You poor boy, have an apple.

Arthur:
What?

Old Crone:
Have an apple. I grow them and sell them to the cider makers in return for a quiet life and some apple juice.

Arthur:
Look, I do not require an apple; I just wish to meet with Merlin and get out of this place.

(Happy music – enter Merlin the Wizard)

Merlin:
Hello Old Crone, still selling apples I see. Has she been bothering you Arthur?

Arthur:
No, she just asked me who I was and what I was doing.

Merlin:
And you told her?

Arthur:
Of course I did.

Merlin:
YOU CARELESS BOY! now she’ll have to come with us as she knows the secret. Or else we could just kill her, and no one would ever be the wiser.

Arthur:
Okay, let’s kill her then.

Merlin:
On second thought, let’s take her with us, she may turn out to be useful later in the play, come let’s make haste to the cave.

Arthur:
Where is it?

Merlin:
Cornwall.

Arthur:
Cornwall? Where’s that?

(Enter Academic, the wise owl. Reads information from scroll.)

Academic:
Cornwall, or Kernow, a county lying in the Southwest of England, bordered by the Atlantic Sea
to the North and West and Devon to the East, the English Channel lies to the South…

Merlin:
Yes, thank you Academic, that’s enough information.

Old Crone:
Still got the wise old owl then Merlin?

Merlin:
Wise? This owl gets it all from old scrolls.

Academic:
(Reading from scroll or book) A scroll, from the Old French escrow, also known as a roll, as in a roll of papyrus, parchment, or paper containing writing.

Merlin:
Yes, and it is driving me crazy, but I am stuck with it, so we had all better get going, we have a long journey ahead.

Academic:
(Reading) Ahead, to see into the future or unknown………..

Merlin and Old Crone:
Be Quiet!