Disaster at the North Pole! It’s the night before Christmas, and RUDOLPH won’t fly! He’s just too sad. Can the elves save the sleigh? What is the magic that will fill the heart of this glowing guide, and lift him to the stars to save Christmas? This joyful and funny holiday sing-along is sure to become a family favorite.
About the playwright:
Kristin Lundberg (she/her) is a playwright, as well as a diversity and inclusion instructor of the performing and technical theatre arts. Her plays have been performed in New York City, Virginia, North and South Carolina, as well as internationally in London and Shropshire (UK). She is a dancer and actress and served as the Artistic Director of the Shakespeare’s Sister Company, an all-female theater company she founded in Brooklyn, NY, in 2008 dedicated to producing diverse and inclusive plays by women. She has been awarded SETC’s 2020/2021 William E. Wilson Scholarship for theatre education and is a member of the Dramatists’ Guild and the League of Professional Theatre Women. She holds her MFA in playwriting and concentration in new play directing.
Excerpt from the play:
CHARACTERS: (min: 8, max: 18, gender flexible)
ACROBAT– The worker elf who flips, kicks, jumps, and bumps! He loves to dance, rap, and anything with a beat where he can get his jam on.
NOODLE– The elvish goofball and a hoot of fun! Speaks endless nonsense and gibberish.
SPARKLE– The most glamorous and extra of all the elves! She treats Christmas like a fashion show and often competes with AROMA, who gets to style Mrs. Claus.
TECHARONI– The leader of the toymakers! A no-nonsense elf, and he tells it how he sees it. Mechanically minded, he can engineer the sleigh with his eyes closed.
AROM– The most angelic of all the elves who loves to smell himself! His favorite hobby is showing off anything that will gain his attention. A spotlight hog.
RUDOLPH– A depressed reindeer whose nose won’t glow until he can find his purpose in life.
SANTA CLAUS– Elder male, open ethnicity. A jolly man with a belly like a bowl full of jelly. You know this guy.
MRS CLAUS– Elder female, open ethnicity. The glamour star of every show with a heart of gold! She is a great storyteller and even more fabulous dancer.
NORTH POLE ELVES– Various ages. Modern Dancers, Comedians, Kitchen Elves, and Star-Studded Sprites
Includes these Holiday Favorites:
Jingle Bells (1857)
Deck the Halls (1866)
Up on a Housetop (1870)
O Christmas Tree (1800)
Jolly Old St. Nicholas (1870)
Toyland (1903)
We Wish You a Merry Christmas (1800)
AT RISE:
Inside Santa’s Workshop at the North Pole. It’s the night before Christmas! A pile of toys sits in darkness in the middle of the stage, with work benches framing the pile. One of the toys needs to be the size of a small child. A small child’s trampoline sits near the front of the pile. Garlands and gift boxes are strewn about, perhaps even dangling from the rafters. Fabrics and ribbons are piled sloppily on giant candy canes. It’s clear this place was left in a mess! Two lit Christmas trees sit on each side of the front of the stage. One of the trees has a small wooden table beside it, and by the other tree sits Santa’s red velvet chair with his book of lists!
“Jingle Bells” plays and loops over the action below.
Two overenthusiastic COMEDIAN ELVES skip happily and either enable the singalong screen for the audience or improvise, getting the audience to sing along with them. THEY LOVE CHRISTMAS!
During the “Jingle Bells” chorus, four MODERN DANCE ELVES glide and pose ceremoniously with garlands and ribbons decorating the two lit trees. KITCHEN ELVES enter, one with a pitcher of milk and the other with a plate of cookies and a ruler. They place them on the wooden table next to the tree and measure to confirm the setting is perfect! STAR-STUDDED ELVES enter, one with Santa’s mug and the other with the star for Santa’s tree. Like a showroom model, the elf with the mug prances and places the mug on the table next to the cookies, and the kitchen elves confirm its correct placement on the table. The rest of the elves form a cheerleader pyramid atop Santa’s chair which the elf with the star climbs to place the star on top of the tree. Drum roll as the star elf reaches the top of the tree. Everyone cheers, and the STAR ELF takes a bow.
On STAR ELF’s bow, the lights on Santa’s tree go dark – elves gasp. The tree begins to shake, and the elves gasp. The star falls off the tree, and the stage brightens to reveal the mess in the workshop. Elves scream, faint, cry…it’s pandemonium, and everyone’s confused! The volume of “Jingle Bells” gets so loud that the elves cover their ears and run. As the elves hurry out, they trip over each other, knocking into Santa’s chair, which tumbles to its side, and Santa’s list book topples to the floor.
ACROBAT enters, flipping onto the stage. Holding his hands over his ears, he searches for the remote, locates it on a workbench, and points it at the audience.
ACROBAT
Come on! Come on!
He clicks it. Silence, sigh of relief. Dropping the remote on the bench and lifting Santa’s chair to sit upright.
Woah…Santa’s gonna be sugared! Oh, no. No, no.
He picks up the fallen star.
Umm, okay.
He grabs the trampoline from the pile pulling off Santa’s gift message.
Sorry, Molly Thompson. I need this more than you right now.
He jumps on the trampoline and places the star back on top of the tree. Note: If needing height, Comedian elves may enter and assist lifting ACROBAT (on their shoulders, creating momentum from trampoline, etc.) and then exit. ACROBAT returns the trampoline to the pile of toys.
One disaster solved. Look at this mess! I can’t-
Giggling is heard from the pile of toys.
(to audience)
You hear that, too? Wait — I know that laugh!
Giggling gets louder.
Come out, come out wherever you are.
ACROBAT points to the giant toy.
I’ve…GOT YOU!
ACROBAT cartwheels, grabbing the giant toy and revealing NOODLE. NOODLE jumps up ecstatically and the toy tower crumbles under him.
NOODLE
TA-DA! You found me, batterbatterbatter!
ACROBAT
ACROBAT! (Correcting the nickname that NOODLE has given ACROBAT.)
NOODLE
Whatevz!
ACROBAT
What did you do?
NOODLE
Whatdoyamean?
ACROBAT
This place is a mess!
NOODLE
Well, I didn’t do it!
ACROBAT
NOODLE spladoodle! (accusing)
NOODLE
Honest! (gasp) IT WAS YEEEOOOOUUUU!
ACROBAT
Not possible. I’ve been out all morning training the snowmen for the Snowball Slam…
NOODLE
…Making snow angels again?
ACROBAT
Come on! We gotta get this cleaned up before Santa sees it! Where’s his bag?
NOODLE
This isn’t fun! It’s not even my mess!
ACROBAT
Fa la la la la-
NOODLE
La! (interrupting)
ACROBAT
Fa la la la la-
NOODLE
La! (interrupting)
ACROBAT
Fa La La, La La La!
NOODLE
La. La. La!
ACROBAT clicks the remote.
Singalong “Deck the Halls”
ACROBAT
Help us out, Elves!
They sing with the audience, tossing toys to each other and organizing the workshop. This can be a comedic clean-up; however, it should be choreographed.
ACROBAT AND NOODLE
DECK THE HALLS WITH BOUGHS OF HOLLY
FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA
TIS THE SEASON TO BE JOLLY
FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA
SPARKLE, the high fashion elf, struts on stage singing “Deck the Halls,” holding two couture holiday dresses and getting her groove on.
ACROBAT, NOODLE, SPARKLE
DON WE NOW OUR GAY APPARAL
FA LA LA, LA LA LA, LA LA LA
TROLL THE ANCIENT YULETIDE CAROL
FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA
On the last “La” SPARKLE screams as in a yelp. ACROBAT hits the remote button. Music stops.
SPARKLE
OH! MY! CHRISTMAAAASSSS!
ACROBAT
I know it looks bad.
NOODLE
Batty did it!
ACROBAT
Stop it! I didn’t. Wasn’t me.
SPARKLE
My trimmings! My ribbons! My GARLANDS!
ACROBAT
Oh, SPARKLE…
NOODLE pours the milk into Santa’s mug and dunks a cookie submerging it in the milk.
SPARKLE
WHYYYY?
SPARKLE falls into ACROBAT’s arms, and they tumble to the ground and somersault backward. NOODLE rushes to her.
NOODLE
Santa’s milk and cookies!
ACROBAT
You’re a braver elf than me.
NOODLE
It’s an emergency. The sign says so.
ACROBAT
Have you seen Santa when someone steals his snack? The North Pole shakes!
NOODLE
She’s upset!
SPARKLE
And I’m LACTOSE INTOLERANT! You ever seen me drink milk at the Christmas afterparty?
NOODLE
Geez, just tryin’ to do somethin’ nice…
NOODLE drinks Santa’s milk.
ACROBAT
NOODLE!
NOODLE
Well, I’m not gonna waste it!
ACROBAT
Help me get her up!
NOODLE
Okay, okay!
SPARKLE
How am I going to finish the beautiful gowns for the lovely lady C? My sparkly supplies are EVERYWHERE! Wait a minute! I know…(whispers) Who. Did. This.
NOODLE AND ACROBAT
WHO?
Trumpet fanfare off-stage. They know this means TECHARONI is entering.
SPARKLE, NOODLE, ACROBAT
TECHARONI!
NOODLE
HIDE!
ACROBAT
This Way!
Running in opposite directions in circles around the mound of toys.
SPARKLE
I bet HE knows who did this!
TECHARONI elf enters with his authoritative tool belt and swagger.
TECHARONI
Well, stop my sleigh!
ACROBAT and NOODLE slam into each other and fall to the floor.
What happened here?
SPARKLE
Hiya, Tech!
TECHARONI
The toys. Scattered. I’ve never seen such a mess. In the WORKSHOP!
ACROBAT
So, you don’t know who did this?
TECHARONI
How could I know? I’ve spent the whole day fixing the hyper speed on the sleigh that someone tampered with.
All stare at NOODLE. NOODLE looks past himself in the direction they are looking. Searching and pointing towards the audience.
NOODLE
It was HIM!
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