Puss in Boots

Puss in Boots is a hilarious adaptation of the well-known fairy tale. When the youngest child, Kelly, receives an inheritance of two dollars and a cat, it is assumed to be a joke until Kelly finds that the cat can speak! Puss asks Kelly for a pair of magnificent boots and in exchange, he will earn a fantastic living for his master. Promising riches, splendid clothes, jewels, and Hollywood fame, he ventures off to fulfill his vow. Using his imagination, hard work, and a certain savoir faire, he’ll succeed in going further than any other cat has gone before! A wonderful comedy for kids and a great addition to any fairy tale lesson!

Andy Pavey is Drama Notebook’s resident playwright. Andy has written over 40 plays for Drama Notebook’s Script Library and each one will have you laughing out loud. Andy hails from the tiny riverside town of LeClaire, Iowa. Andy enjoys writing (of course), reading, backpacking, and riding his bicycle. After studying for two years at UWC-USA, an international residential school in New Mexico, he returned to his home state to attend Grinnell College. He previously spent nine years with Davenport Junior Theatre, the second-oldest children’s theatre in the United States, where he acted in productions, managed the props building, and wrote plays for young actors to perform. Enthralled with creative writing since he was very young, he is thrilled to be working with Drama Notebook to inspire others to think outside the box.

Excerpt from the play:

CAST OF CHARACTERS

PUSS
ATTORNEY
PEYTON (oldest child)
REESE (middle child)
KELLY (youngest child)
OGRE
KING
JESTER

At rise: there is a “castle” area to one side of the stage and a table with sparse furnishings on the other side (this will be removed after the initial scene). The three CHILDREN and the ATTORNEY are standing around the sparse table. The bootless PUSS is curled up underneath it.

ATTORNEY
Children, it was with great regret that I heard about the passing of your father. He was a fine man, and will be missed by all who knew him.

PEYTON
Thank you, sir, but could you please get on with the reading of the will already? I want my money, and I want it now!

ATTORNEY
Very well.

The ATTORNEY unfurls a long scroll and reads:

ATTORNEY
I, Julius Kincaid, being of mostly sound mind and failing old body, do hereby bequeath my worldly possessions upon my death to my children.

PEYTON
Great. Thank you. How much did I get?

ATTORNEY
You must be patient, child. (continuing to read) I have lived a long and boring-ish life, running a plain old mill to grind flour for people who were often slow to pay me – or tried to pay me with pies and chickens.

REESE
Oh, boy. Sounds like we’re going to inherit a bunch of old pies. I hope mine is coconut meringue or maybe mincemeat.

PEYTON (to REESE)
Quiet, fool.

ATTORNEY (still reading the scroll)
I leave the decrepit mill to my oldest child, Peyton. I love you, kid, but you sure are impatient and arrogant sometimes. Don’t let the millstone drag you down.

PEYTON
Score! I own a business now! What else do I get?

ATTORNEY
(to PEYTON) Probably a fat tax on your inheritance. (continuing to read) To my middle child, Reese, I leave three dollars (ATTORNEY hands three dollars to REESE) and all those chickens people gave me.

REESE (to the ATTORNEY)
Are they fried, or nuggets, or something?

ATTORNEY (to REESE)
They’re very much alive. Have fun with that.

REESE
I’m afraid of live chickens.

PEYTON (to the ATTORNEY)
Can we leave now?

ATTORNEY
(to PEYTON) Not quite. (reading the scroll) To my youngest child, Kelly, I leave two dollars (ATTORNEY hands two dollars to KELLY) and my cat, Puss.

PUSS
Meow.

PEYTON
That’s it?! Kelly gets a cat? Hahaha.

ATTORNEY
That’s all. I will send my bill to you, Master Peyton. You were the only one to inherit anything of value, questionable as it is.

The ATTORNEY, PEYTON, and REESE all exit. KELLY sits alone in a chair near the table, looking sad. PUSS jumps on the table and starts grooming himself for a few seconds.

KELLY
Dad always had a weird sense of humor… I guess this time the joke’s on me.

PUSS, hearing this, stops grooming and touches KELLY’s arm.

PUSS
I would very much like a pair of boots.

KELLY (screaming)
A talking cat! Am I losing my mind?!

PUSS
Well, I’m no psychiatrist, but I don’t think so.

KELLY
Even if you were a psychiatrist, I don’t think I’d be able to afford it…

KELLY holds up the two dollars dejectedly.

KELLY (bewildered, to PUSS)
I still can’t believe you can talk.