Rumpelstiltskin: The Last Straw

With rich, comedic language that integrates sections of verse, magical realism, and quick banter, this dark comedy works well for a range of ages and is perfect for the Halloween season. This Rumpelstiltskin adaptation was commissioned by Piper Theatre Productions in Brooklyn, NY, for their 2023 season. It adheres closely to the Grimm fairy tale and introduces a cast of supporting characters to reimagine a way for the Miller's daughter to overcome the challenges before her with agency. The play centers roles for girls and has flexible casting in regards to gender and doubling to accommodate the variable needs of youth groups.

About the playwright:
Patti Veconi is a playwright, teaching artist, youth theatre director, and dramaturg. Her plays for young actors are ensemble pieces with an emphasis on the authentic adolescent voice, while her adult works center on the lives of older women. She has been produced in schools, festivals, community and professional theaters around the country and internationally and she was an ATHE Conference resident playwright in both 2022 and 2023. In 2019, Patti was the recipient of the Beverly Hills Theatre Guild's national competition for youth plays. She is a board member and Resident Dramaturg with The Bechdel Group and her education includes a BFA in music theater from Virginia Commonwealth University and a master's degree in educational theater from New York University. Patti is also an avid vegetable gardener and enthusiastic birder.

Excerpt from the Play:

CHARACTERS
PIT: A moat-mucker. Works at the castle. Very interested in the Miller's daughter - may even have a bit of a crush on her.
JAM: A moat-mucker. Works at the castle.
COB: A moat-mucker. Doesn't say much - actually, doesn't say anything, but somehow still has a lot to say. Works at the castle. A bit scatological.
EXECUTIONER: Contract employee at the castle always hoping for a gig. Can double as KOBOLD, HALDIVEEN or RUMPELSTILTSKIN.
MILLIE: Female. A young woman thrust into a seemingly impossible situation. She learns the value of having power in order to survive.
RUMPELSTILTSKIN: A reclusive goblin forced to comply with the rules of his kind.
KOBOLD: A violent, rough-edged goblin.
HALDIVEEN: A smooth-talking but intimidating goblin who never breaks a sweat.
BAKER: Female. MILLIE's Aunt and Mr. MILLER's sister-in-law. Runs a bakery.
SHEPHERD (SHEP): Female. MILLIE's Aunt and Mr. MILLER's sister-in-law. Superstitious and understands matters of the fairy world.
MILLER: Male. A foolish father.
CLEVERLY: Female. A Dickensian kid true to her name.
VILLAGERS: Up to five or more additional actors or can be doubled by any of the actors playing PIT, COB, JAM, KOBOLD, HALDIVEEN, or RUMPELSTILTSKIN.
MESSENGER: Somewhat befuddled employee of the King. Can double as KOBOLD, HALDIVEEN, or EXECUTIONER.

Unless noted, character genders are flexible, and pronouns can be changed throughout the script to reflect the actors playing the roles.

PLACE & TIME
Various places throughout the kingdom. Once upon a time.

SCRIPT NOTES
A slash indicates the next line should begin. COB'S dialogue is often given in tandem with other speakers and directors should decide when his lines are heard independently. In general, treat COB's interjections freely - adding or removing them to suit the dynamics of the character relationships your actors develop.

SCENE 1

AT RISE: A bare, dark stage. Ominous music plays fading to the SOUND of a scream, followed by a struggle, ending with a body being thrown against something with a thud.

MILLIE
But he lied! It isn't true! I beg you - I can't - I -

VOICE
You can't? Then pay close attention because this is what happens to people who tell the king they can't do what he asks of them.

(Sounds of someone being beaten are heard. MILLIE screams.)

VOICE (Cont.)
So if the king says sing, you make like a lark. If the king says fly, put your wings on, and if the king says spin this straw into gold…well, girlie, your fingers better start dancing.

MILLIE
It's impossible - please understand -

VOICE
No, you understand. You're gonna make good on your daddy's promise so when the king walks in this room tomorrow he sees it full of gold…or else.

MILLIE
What? You'll kill me? Do it now and spare me the long night waiting for my death.

VOICE
That's a job for the Executioner. I'm just here to welcome you to the castle and ensure you've been properly inspired to do your best work.

(Sound of a punch, followed by a moan.)

MILLIE
Stop! You've beaten him unconscious!

VOICE
May you have such fortune when it is your turn.

MILLIE
Fortune? To be punished so unfairly?

VOICE
You'll be begging for the Executioner before I'm done.

MILLIE
But what the king asks is not possible!

(Sound of a punch, followed by a moan.)

VOICE
That's a lot of straw. You'd better get busy.

SCENE 2

AT RISE: Mrs. BAKER's shop. MILLER sits, head in hands. BAKER, holding a rolling pin, and SHEP, holding a pot, threaten him.

BAKER
Always knew you were a fool, Miller.

SHEP
Not a fairy in the kingdom will guard your door tonight.

BAKER
Small mercy our sister isn't alive to see you gamble her only daughter away.

MILLER
Oh my poor girl, what am I to do?

SHEP
You've done more than enough.

(CLEVERLY appears, hat in hand.)

CLEVERLY
Excuse me, Mrs. Baker? Need any chores done around the shop today?

SHEP
(Noticing CLEVERLY.)
Who let you in?

BAKER
Not today, urchin. Go /away.

SHEP
I locked that door myself. Are you a thief? Do you sneak into houses?

CLEVERLY
No, I would never! (Showing her ten fingers.) The King's men never took any of my fingers.

SHEP
Sister, you know this changeling?

CLEVERLY
I'm no changeling.

BAKER
Aye, this is the little pup I occasionally employ - clever.

CLEVERLY
That's what they call me - Cleverly!

BAKER
Maybe so, but not today.

CLEVERLY
I can find a way to do any task you need.

BAKER
Go clean your ears, I said -

SHEP
Wait, we could use someone like this - someone who's clever.
(Asking if BAKER understands her meaning.)
You come near, Sister?

BAKER
(Comprehending.)
Aye - provided they can sneak into houses.

CLEVERLY
Oh yes. Yes, I can. Use me - I'm very sneaky. I can sneak into any place: cottages, cabins, tree houses, mad houses, out houses, doll houses - well maybe not -
I'll never see her again! Oh what have I done?

BAKER
(Threatening MILLER with the rolling pin.)
Shut up!
(To CLEVERLY.)
Can you sneak into a very big house?

SHEP
A very secure and well-fortified house?

CLEVERLY
Oh yes. I've even snuck into the castle before.

BAKER
(Holding up the rolling pin.)
Are you lying, urchin? Because we've had enough of braggarts today who don't know fact from fiction.

CLEVERLY
No, it's true! I /can -

MILLER
Oh my poor, poor daughter, oh what am I -

SHEP
(Waving the pot.)
Enough from you!

MILLER
(Cowering.)
Ah!

BAKER
Stay out of our way.

CLEVERLY
You're the man from the market. With the daughter who can spin straw into gold?

MILLER
I'm that cursed man.

SHEP
Cursed for telling that lie.

CLEVERLY
Lie?
(Realizing her naivete.)
I knew that. I knew she was just - average - I mean, I'm sure she's above average, but not, you know, magical. That isn't possible - to spin straw into gold. I knew that wasn't true.

(BAKER begins to gather some food and put it into a sack.)

BAKER
(To CLEVERLY.)
Here's what you'll do: take this satchel of bread to our niece.

(SHEP grabs a quill and paper and begins to write a note while BAKER composes the sack.)

CLEVERLY
Where?

BAKER
They've taken her to the castle.

MILLER
Oh, what if she's been thrown in the dungeon?

BAKER
(Ignoring MILLER.)
She'll be somewhere near the stables - locked up so she can't escape.

MILLER
Oh, my girl, my -

SHEP
(Interrupting him and looking up from her writing.)
Listen Miller. This is important. Does our niece still wear the ring and necklace her mother gave her?

BAKER
Those jewels that have been in our family for generations?

MILLER
She never takes them off.

SHEP
Good. She will need them.

MILLER
Will a ring and necklace be enough to bribe a guard?

BAKER
Fool, you understand nothing; she can use their magic to -

SHEP
(Interrupting her with a shake of the head.)
Stay, sister.

(BAKER nods. There is a discreet agreement between the sisters that CLEVERLY sees but doesn't understand.)

BAKER
Tell us child, you're sure you can get into the castle?

CLEVERLY
I'll first have to slip under a carriage and cling to its underbelly going over the drawbridge without being trampled in order to cross the moat.

BAKER
Very good.

CLEVERLY
Then dodge the spears that could pierce my tender flesh and avoid the dogs that would tear me to pieces.

BAKER
Sounds like you'll be fine.

CLEVERLY
And evade the drunkards spilling out of the great hall looking for vulnerable children such as myself -

SHEP
(Interrupting her.)
Can you, or can you not get to our niece inside the castle?

CLEVERLY
I can! But…not for a loaf of bread, I won't.

BAKER
No, no, you want something more in return. Something for your family, perhaps? Must you provide for them? A sickly mother with many brothers and sisters? And what about your father? Is he not -

CLEVERLY
(Interrupting.)
I have no family.

BAKER
(Surveying them.)
Ah, no family? No wonder you are called CLEVERLY; you must survive on your own. Listen to me, child. If my niece is saved, you will have a home here with a warm bed and bread for the rest of your life.

CLEVERLY
(Taking the sack.)
Then I graciously thank you for this opportunity!

SHEP
Wait - take this note
(Folding the note she has written and putting it into the satchel.)
Now go, quickly!

(CLEVERLY exits.)

MILLER
If anything happens to my daughter, I think I will die.

SHEP
We'll help you with that.