Oh, Demetrius

Who hasn't done something crazy when they're in love? In Oh, Demetrius, the character Charmaine takes it to another level. What begins as a school crush turns into a school problem, specifically around homework. This play for teens explores the idea of integrity when characters are faced with the decision to correct their mistakes. Will Charmaine take back her power? Will Demetrius own his mistakes? This play also provides a lesson in cultural history and the importance of knowing the sacrifices made by others for the sake of justice. This is an excellent choice for class study, performance, or competitions.

About the playwright:

Allison Whittenberg's novels are Sweet Thang, Hollywood and Maine, Life is Fine, Tutored (Random House 2006, 2008, 2009, and 2010). Her work has appeared in Columbia Review, Feminist Studies, J Journal, and New Orleans Review. She is the author of the full-length short story collection, Carnival of Reality (Loyola University Press, 2022). Whittenberg is a six-time Pushcart Prize nominee.

Excerpt from the play:

CHARACTERS:

CHARMAINE UPSHAW, A teen

DEMETRIUS MCGEE, A teen (Charmaine's love interest)

MR. GOWDY, The teacher (Can be any gender)

SETTING:
A high school. Present day.

*This play bounces between narration, where the character speaks directly to the audience, and action in the present moment. This change can be done by simply having the actor turn to the audience, breaking the fourth wall, and then turning back to the scene.

Act 1, Scene 1

(Curtain rises on Charmaine.)

CHARMAINE
Junior high is to a student as cat is to a mouse. It caught me off guard, tossed me around a bit, and I was convinced after it was satisfied, it just might eat me unless I could get away quick enough. This confession, I am sure, would surprise most since I had always gotten excellent grades and teachers held me in high regard. Nonetheless, my expectation as I advanced in school years was never quenched. I couldn't feel it, this 9th-grade of challenge. It was like grade 8.5. This was my last stop before the real deal: high school. But I just didn't feel it.

First up, Miss Baineau taught French with lots of English subtitles. She was actually from Paris, and she was just a child during WWII. She often regaled with tales from her girlhood, how she and her three siblings hid in the basement during the air raids, and how much she loved Americans which was very interesting but had nothing to do with conjugating verbs or mastering the subjunctive case. Since she rarely spoke in French, we learned nothing of French pronunciation or vocabulary.

My English teacher, Mr. Mand, was into assigning journal entries that he never checked or collected. Currently, we are reading the poetry of Walt Whitman aloud page by page. Line by line. Word by word. Though I always read with spirit when it was my turn (I love dramatic speaking) my fellow students put nothing into the delivery. So, it was just a waste of time. Next was lunch. No complaints. There, I got to gossip with my friends about horoscopes, TV shows, what was hot on the R&B charts, and my fixation, Demetrius McGee, the new guy at school. Oh, Demetrius. He is so cute. He looks like a man from the movies. Like a Denzel Washington. Just the other day, I saw him wearing a tie… (sigh)… Back to my roll call… Fifth period, after lunch, I had Mr. Gowdy for U.S. History. He loved to talk civil rights. Mr. Gowdy took night classes to complete his master's degree. I found him the most informative of all my instructors. Even more interesting than that, Demetrius was in that class. After class, I followed him to his locker, thinking hard of that sports motto. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

(Demetrius enters.)

Demetrius! Hello. I would just like to welcome you to Dardon Junior High.

DEMETRIUS
Thank you.

(Demetrius exits.)

Act 1, Scene 2
(Charmaine and Demetrius sit next to each other in class.)

MR. GOWDY
In Civics class, we were discussing how the concept of free speech fits into the spirit of the civil rights movement. Congress shall make no law… Demetrius, what amendment am I referring to?

(Demetrius has the newspaper out to the Phantom comics. He looks up.)

MR. GOWDY
Demetrius, do you know which amendment I'm referring to?

(There is an awkward silence.)

CHARMAINE
(She says this in a cough) First.

DEMETRIUS (to Charmaine)
First?

MR. GOWDY
That's correct, Demetrius. The First Amendment.

Act 1 Scene 3

(Demetrius runs into Charmaine in the hallway)

DEMETRIUS
Thanks for what you did back there.

CHARMAINE
Anytime, Demetrius.

DEMETRIUS
Really?

CHARMAINE
Sure. (to the audience) The earth stood still. I'm not exaggerating.

DEMETRIUS
I was wondering if you might be able to do my homework and sign my name.

CHARMAINE
You want me to sign your name?

DEMETRIUS
Charmaine, please, it's just this little thing-a paper or two and the word problems in math.

(Demetrius strokes her hand.)

CHARMAINE
Do you use a middle initial?

DEMETRIUS
No. Just write Demetrius McGee. Teachers don't know my handwriting.

CHARMAINE
Oh, Demetrius.

Act 1, Scene 4

(Demetrius hands Charmaine his homework.)

DEMETRIUS
Just do questions 1 through 8 on page 187. Oh, and skip question 3. Thanks, Charmaine.

(Charmaine nods and walks off stage.)

(Charmaine comes back on stage. Demetrius hands Charmaine more homework.)

Charmaine, I need this project done.

(Charmaine nods and walks offstage.)

(Charmaine comes back on stage. Demetrius hands Charmaine more homework.)

(Charmaine nods and walks off stage.)

(Charmaine comes back on stage. Demetrius hands Charmaine more homework.)

(Charmaine comes back on stage with her hand out.)

DEMETRIUS
Charmaine, you don't have to do anything for me today.

CHARMAINE
I don't.

DEMETRIUS
Yeah, it's a teacher's in-service tomorrow, remember? Thank you so much for doing this.

(Demetrius kisses her hand.)

CHARMAINE
Oh, Demetrius.

DEMETRIUS
Oh, wait, I do have something. Maybe, you could get started on this.

(Demetrius hands Charmaine more homework and then walks off stage.)

Act 1, Scene 5

DEMETRIUS
That paper that Gowdy assigned. I want to do it on Martin Luther King.

CHARMAINE
Great choice. There's so much on him. I even have a book by him. Where Do We Go From Here? Community or Chaos. I can lend -

DEMETRIUS
Look, why don't you just write it up? I trust you. Just write the five pages.

Act 1, Scene 6

CHARMAINE
Over the next week, I did a lot of soul-searching. The homework that I'd done for him was bad, but writing his whole term paper and signing it in his name-wasn't that really illegal? Isn't that plagiarism?

(Demetrius comes on stage.)

CHARMAINE
Hello, Demetrius. I'm done... Yes, all five pages…. You want to celebrate? Would you like to go to the movies or something? A movie or anything?

DEMETRIUS
I'm kind of busy. But thanks. Thanks a lot.

CHARMAINE
(to the audience)
He's busy? What kind of fool does he think I am?

(looking at her manuscript)

The kind that writes essays well, I guess.