Why Pig Likes the Mud-Play Script

Why Pig Likes the Mud is a comedy that explains exactly why Pig likes to frolic around in the mud so often. Pig uses his “germophobia” as an excuse for not doing any work on the farm. The other animals think Pig is very lazy and self-centred and decide to teach him a lesson, a very “muddy” lesson. Pig will have to face his worst fears in the process but he may strike up an unusual friendship in the end. A hilarious comedy for children of all ages!

Evan Baughfman is a middle school teacher who has had various written works published and/or performed. Many of his plays have been produced across the United States. His children’s play, “R.O.M.3.O. and Julia” (Romeo and Juliet with robots) has been published in PLAYS Magazine. His play for young adults, “Lipstick and Heroics,” is available through YouthPLAYS. In addition, his middle grade play, “Percy Pangolin Wants to Go Viral,” is published by Heuer Publishing. Heuer’s also published Evan’s play, “A Taste of Amontillado” (an adaptation of Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Cask of Amontillado”). His plays, “At the Pool’s Edge,” “The Pizza Man’s Problem,” “Rumpelstiltskin,” and “Nevada Johnson and the Meaning of Life,” are already available at Drama Notebook. Additionally, Evan has penned a collection of 13 short scary stories titled “Twisted Tales from Edgar Allan Poe Middle School”. The collection will be published in Spring 2020.

Excerpt from the play:

CAST OF CHARACTERS

NARRATOR – the teller of this tale
PIG – a lazy piece of ham
CHICKEN – fed up with Pig
COW – also tired of working while Pig lazes about
SHEEP – irritated with Pig, too
GERM 1 – lives in the mud
GERM 2 – wants to be Pig’s friend
GERM 3 – accepts Pig no matter what his faults may be

NARRATOR
Pig used to be a very clean animal, always afraid of germs. Pig used his “germophobia” as an excuse for not doing any work on the farm. The other animals thought Pig was a very lazy and selfish beast who did nothing but sit inside the barn all day.  

CHICKEN
Pig, can you please lift a hoof for once and help with the chores today?  

PIG
No, thank you. There are a lot of germs out there. I’d just like to continue to relax here in my clean, sanitized space. You can go now.  

CHICKEN
But that’s not fair to the rest of us.  

PIG
You can go now.  

CHICKEN
The rest of us work hard for hours and hours out in the hot sun, but you—  

PIG
Did you not hear me? I said, YOU. CAN. GO. NOW.  

NARRATOR
That was the final straw for Chicken. She approached the other animals, who were working hard in the hot sun.  

CHICKEN
I’m so tired of that lazy, rude, selfish Pig!

COW
Same! Who does he think he is? The King? Does he think we’re his minions?  

SHEEP
We have to do something about him. Knock him off that “throne” he thinks he sits on!

CHICKEN/COW
Yeah!  

NARRATOR
They discussed a plan to teach Pig a very valuable lesson.

(The animals huddle together and whisper.)  

NARRATOR
When Pig left the barn to get food from the kitchen, Cow and Sheep approached him.

COW
Hey, Pig! Wait up!  

SHEEP
Yeah, Pig, hold on a second!  

PIG
(turning to them) What do you want?

COW
We were wondering if you’d like to have lunch with us today.

(Behind Pig, Chicken has a large bucket of water.)  

PIG
Ewww. No, thank you. You are sweaty, filthy, and stanky. Like always, I am happy to eat alone. You can go now.

COW
But we’d really like to get to know you better.