7 characters; 1F; 1M; 5 Either. 8 pages in length. Approximately 5-10 minutes running time. A comedy for teens written by Andy Pavey.

Superhero Rejects is the side-splitting comedy about a group of not-so-well-known Superheroes. Rescuing people from mundane activities has taken its toll on our haphazard heroes. They’re just not feeling appreciated for all their hard work. There’s only one thing they can do to deal with their feelings – attend the next meeting of The Superhero Support Group! A great play for middle school and high school students alike!

Andy Pavey is a commissioned playwright, who writes short plays for Drama Notebook. He is a student who attends UWC-USA. He previously spent nine years with Davenport Junior Theatre, the second-oldest children’s theatre in the United States, where he acted in productions, managed the props building, and wrote plays for young actors to perform. In addition to writing, Andy is an avid backpacker!

Excerpt from the play:

CAST OF CHARACTERS

NARRATOR
CAPTAIN PUN
SPIN CYCLE
SUPERBOWL
SCHEDULE MAN
SUPERFAN
TIME-OUT

At rise, the cast is onstage, sitting in a semicircle of chairs.

NARRATOR
It was a dark and stormy Thursday in the heart of the suburbs. Superheroes had come from far and wide to this secret meeting place. Some even traveled upwards of fifteen minutes, grumbling about gas prices all the way. These six heroes were known across the land for their unique abilities and talents. Some called them legendary. Others called them…The Superhero Support Group!

Lights up on the stage, where the cast is waiting for the meeting to begin.

CAPTAIN PUN
Uh, welcome, everyone, to the first-ever meeting of the Superhero Support Group. Before we start – who’s up for some puns?!

Everyone except CAPTAIN PUN groans.

CAPTAIN PUN
Y’know, I tried wearing skinny jeans yesterday, but I can never pull it off.

“Ba dum tiss” sound effect plays.

SPIN CYCLE
Um, no. Stick to shorts, please.

CAPTAIN PUN
Where do most superheroes live…? Anyone? Anyone?

Everyone is silent. A few are talking on their phones, while others are checking their watches. After a few seconds of quiet:

CAPTAIN PUN
Cape Town!

“Ba dum tiss” sound effect plays.

SCHEDULE MAN
Okay, Captain Pun, that’s enough. We’re all busy people. Let’s start.

CAPTAIN PUN
Okay, well, as I said, welcome. Why don’t we go around and share our names?

SUPERBOWL (hoisting his plunger in the air)
Hello, everyone. I’m Superbowl, and I help people in distress!

TIME-OUT (trying not to laugh)
Is that… is that a plunger?!

SUPERBOWL
Yeah… like I said, I help people… in distress… y’know?

A toilet flushes somewhere in the distance. SUPERBOWL strikes a heroic pose, then runs offstage.

SCHEDULE MAN
Hello, everyone, so glad I can be here.  I’m Schedule Man. I just managed to squeeze in this meeting between my doctor’s appointment at 6:00 and my daughter’s ballet recital at 8:30. And tomorrow I have to get an oil change in my car, but only after I’ve had brunch with my mother at that little café down the street..

SCHEDULE MAN takes out a small notebook and begins scribbling furiously, deep in thought.

SPIN CYCLE (starts folding clothes)
You all are serious weirdos.

NARRATOR
You’re telling me. What have I gotten myself into..?

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